Dissecting your family tree 🌳

Grandmother mom’s side

Her dad passed away when she was 12, her mom’s sadness brought her to dementia. 

What did my grandmother craved the most growing up

My grandmother grew up craving masculine figure and idealizing her dad.

How this translated to my mom’s upbringing

She was the oldest with two brothers and she had to take care of them, clean, cook, and basically be their maid.

How was my mom recognized by her mom

Through devotion to the men in the family

Grandmother Dad’s side

She left home at 14 when her parents divorced in the 40s. She’s ashamed of her family.

What did my grandmother craved the most growing up

A stable and healthy family dynamic

How this translated to my dad’s upbringing

He grew up with a mom who would avoid conflict at all costs and was extremely protective of her family. Barely no friends allowed that could disrupt their little family.

How was my dad recognized by her mom

Being the perfect little boy.

Grandfather Mom’s side

His mom died when he’s 7 years old. His dad is about to give his 7 children up for adoption, but the oldest offers to take care of the family, she was only 14.

My grandfather grew up without a mom or a dad.

What did my grandfather craved the most growing up

Parents, love, safety, family structure.

How this translated to my mom’s upbringing

Her dad had 0 idea of how to be a parent since he never had any role model. He did not show up in his relationship with my grandmother and it caused lots of conflicts and lack of emotional intelligence.

How was my mom recognized by her dad

She had to be independent because he wasn’t a caring father, he was in the background but not a present father.

Grandfather Dad’s side

7th boy of 8. He grew up with entrepreneurial brothers, who were all more successful than him, and an extremely strict mother.

What did my grandfather craved the most growing up

A place to express himself & be recognized for who he was.

How this translated to my dad’s upbringing

He grew up with no strong masculine figure, his dad never had his own voice.

How was my dad recognized by his dad

Being the perfect little boy, just like he was still.

Mom’s subconscious operating principles

• In order to be recognized, you need to work hard for others.
• In order to be loved, you must do everything yourself and be independent.

Dad’s subconscious operating principles

• In order to be recognized, you must avoid conflict at all cost.
• Others have a stronger voice, yours is not good enough to express.

Mom’s subconscious operating principles

• In order to be recognized, you need to work hard for others.
• Anytime I created a program, I always felt like it wasn’t good enough so I would add more content and create even more complexity for both myself and my clients which resulted in a poor customer experience in some cases.
• I would overgive, with extra coaching calls free of charge to make sure I was loved by my clients.
• In order to be loved, you must do everything yourself and be independent.
• Anytime I hired a virtual assistant or other subcontractors, I ended up self-sabotaging the relationship by not stating what I wanted and ending up doing everything myself.

I could not pass through the stage of $200,000 in my business because I was complexifying the business so much and supporting the clients coming in was already too much work, I couldn’t picture adding more of them. Also, I wasn’t allowing myself to be supported by team members and be in my zone of genius. It is therefore impossible to scale a business past that point.  

Dad’s subconscious operating principles

• In order to be recognized, you must avoid conflict at all cost.
• Everytime a client would sign up, there was a little voice inside of me being so afraid that they wouldn’t be happy with my program. I was terrified of having to face a difficult client conversation. Therefore I wasn’t sending the right energy of confidence on my discovery calls and that’s something people can sense.
• I would doubt myself and my decisions all the time. Even with some of my subcontractors, I would let them make decisions that deep down I didn’t feel aligned with, but didn’t want to cause conflict.
• Others have a stronger voice, yours is not good enough to express.
• Because things weren’t going so well in my personal life (My divorce), I was doubting my worthiness as a leader. If I didn't have a perfect life, who was I to lead people?
• I wanted to hide the imperfect parts of my life, by fear that I’d be finally exposed.  
• I was hiding behind my “mimi” name, instead of owning my real identity as Noemi (my real full name), because I couldn’t face the judgement from family and friends who I’ve repressed my voice with for so long.

I could not grow my business to the level that I wanted because deep down I was still hiding a part of myself. I wasn’t stepping fully into the leader who owns her voice, her truth and is willing to make herself seen fully in the good and the bad. I didn’t feel whole and was still hiding. This translated in my capacity to lead clients as well as making the decisions in my business and owning my truest desires.